What If
by llamalovesdragons
Summary: Skulduggery and Valkyrie have somehow gone back in time, to the days of the war with Mevolent. Faced with a choice, Skulduggery disappears, and Valkyrie must team up with his living self in order to find him before he does something stupid.
1. A Surprising Twist to a Regular Day

**-Reader**

**This fanfiction was inspired by a simple question, one that came to me while stacking wood (so when people told me manual labour was good for me, they actually meant it), and that question was, to put simply, what if? And there are many answers to this question, as many, if not more, as there are endings to that very question. And the answer to my question is this fanfiction, which I humbly present to you as my tenth fanfiction. So I present to you What If, a Skulduggery Pleasant fanfic brought about the question of what if... Skulduggery's wife and child never died? What would Skulduggery do, and what would happen to Valkryie, if someone managed to find a way to save Skulduggery's wife and child? All these questions and more, answered in this fanfiction. **

**-llamalovesdragons**

**P.S Disclaimer: The characters in this fanfiction, unless made up, belong to Derek Landy and Harper Collins UK publishers and any similarities to actual events or people, real or fictional, are purely coincidental and come from the mind of llamalovesdragons. She only owns the characters she made up. But you are welcome to use them. Just let me know and I'll check out your fanfic ;)**

**P.P.S I use the same name in all my Fanfics for Skulduggery's wife, Moon Ivory. Just letting you know. **

**P.P.P.S I write really long author's note. Think of it as a way I try to connect to you. So please don't ignore them. If I have any interesting moments with my personalities, it generally shows up in my author's notes. Or they reveal little answers to questions people ask in their reviews. But they normally aren't so long in the rest of the chapters. Just the first one.**

**P.P.P.P.S Speaking of reviews, please review. I actually like being told what I'm doing wrong. It allows me to improve the way I write, and you get a better story out of it. It's a win-win situation. So please review. **

**1**

**A Surprising Twist to a Regular Day**

"I love accusing people of murder," Skulduggery Pleasant said. He wore a tanned face, with short cut black hair and blue eyes.

"You still haven't told where we are going," Valkyrie Cain replied. She yawned.

"I think it brings people closer."

"Or it makes them hate you, especially if you're wrong about it. Like Scarab," Valkyrie pointed out.

"Who?" Skulduggery asked, clearly not listening.

Valkyrie scowled."Skulduggery, Darquesse learnt how to resurrect the dead and released all the ones still alive, and now every bad guy we have ever fought is walking around, plotting how to kill you and let Darquesse take over me, as well as bring the back the Faceless Ones and destroy the Sanctuary."

"Accusing someone of murder brings about this instant connection. Like falling in love. Or seeing someone fall over." Skulduggery prattled on, oblivious to what she was saying.

Valkyrie took a deep breath. "Skulduggery, I'm pregnant with your child."

"Murder's have allways interested me. The story you can read behind the scenes tells you more about a person than anything else."

Valkyrie glared at him. "You aren't even listening to me, are you?"

"Of course. Every bad guy we ever fought is wandering around, looking to kill me and release Darquesse, and you're pregnant with my child," Skulduggery said happily.

"Why didn't you react?" Valkyrie asked.

"We're partners. I leant how to realise when you talk crap."

"But what if I was serious?" Valkyrie pressed.

Skulduggery shrugged. "I figured we could beat everyone again if we had too, and I'm a skeleton. To put it delicatly, I don't have any organs. The chances of me getting you pregnant are almost as bad as us getting sent back in time."

"I don't quite know what to say to that," Valkyrie said. Skulduggery smiled and got out of the Bentley. Valkyrie followed him as he led her around the side of the house. Something clicked as the walked past a rockery as high as Valkyrie's hip. She stiffened and looked around. Skulduggery searched around while Valkyrie checked out the rock pile. She ran her hands over the rocks at the bottom when something gave underneath her hand. The ground started to shake, and Valkyrie stepped back as a ball of purple energy hovered infront her. Valkyrie cursed and dived out of the way. "What did you do now?" Skulduggery called to her over the rumbling.

"I don't know," she cried back. The ball of energy grew larger, and Valkyrie could barely see as her hair whipped around and her clothes snapped in the wind that had suddenly sprung up. She could feel a pull, like a magnet, and Skulduggery walked over. He touched his collarbones and his face melted away, revealing gleaming white bone. The pull got stronger, and Valkyrie felt herself being pulled towards it. Skulduggery grabbed her arm, but now they both were being pulled slowly towarsd it. Skulduggery's hat flew off his hat, and he cried out and snatched at it, but it evaded his fingers. The sphere was as tall as Valkyrie, and growing as the pull increased. Valkyrie stepped back, rigth into a patch of mud, and her legs flew out from under her. The sudden movement loosened Skulduggery's grip and she pulled him off balance. Valkyrie grimaced and curled into a ball and felt the pull fade. Valkyrie uncurled and landed hard on dusty ground. She coughed as dust flew up. She looked up to see Skulduggery standing, looking around. "Valkyrie, you might want to forget about what I said before. Appearently there is a better chance of us going back in time than me getting you pregnant."

"What do you mean?" Valkyrie asked, getting to her feet and standing beside him, brushing the dust of her clothes. She looked around. The area was dusty and flat, and a smudge on the horizon caught her eye. "What is that?" She asked, squinting. Skulduggery bent and picked up his hat, which lay at his feet. He brushed the dirt off it.

"You won't recognise it, but we've gone back in time."

Valkryie caught sight of flashes in the smudge. "Is that a fight?"

"To put it simiply, yes. But it might be bit more than that."

"Skulduggery."

"Valkyrie."

"Is that a... Are we in the war?" Valkyrie asked.

Skulduggery hesitated. "Yes."

**Something you should know about me. I am not Valduggery. I am Chinduggery. I cried when I met Derek Landy on his Down Under Tour (2012) because he told me had heard about one of my FanFictions, A Bad Birthday. I won second prize on the same night by dressing up as Valkyrie in a costume competition. I had, and still have, a stick with a red ribbon on it. I am a fan who would do anything for Derek Landy. So don't forget to review. **


	2. Decsisions Are Made

**Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews.**

**2**

**Decisions are Made**

"We can't be back in the war," Valkryie said. "_You_ said it was impossible to travel back in time. And it was nothing like the shunting Silas Nadir gave me last year."

Skulduggery shrugged. "I don't know how it happened, but happen it did."

Valkyrie was quiet for a moment. "When do we go back?"

"I don't know," Skulduggery answered. "It could be similar to the shunting, and fix itself in its own time, or we may have to be sucked into another portal, or even have to do a certain task.

"You better hope I don't miss my party. You do realise it's next Tuesday," Valkyrie reminded him.

"The one I wasn't invited to?" Skulduggery asked.

"There was another one, for all my mage friends, remember."

"Distinctly."

Valkryie looked around. "Do you know what fight this one was?"

Skulduggery peered at the scuffle more closely before answering. "I think it is The Battle of Lightning Ridge."

Valkryie looked at Skulduggery to make sure he wasn't joking. "Please tell me you're not being serious."

"OK then," Skulduggery replied.

"That fight was really called The Battle of Lightning Ridge?" Valkyrie asked sceptically.

"Yes. It was a turning point in the war," Skulduggery explained. "It was called The Battle of Lightning Ridge because it-"

"Took place on Lightning Ridge," Valkyrie interrupted.

Skulduggery glanced at her. "Actually, no. The night before, there was a lightning storm, and lightning struck the ridge you see up there. So the ridge up there is called Lightning Ridge, and that plain they are fighting on doesn't have a name."

"That would have been my next guess," Valkyrie muttered defensively. "So who won?"

Skulduggery hesitated. "Mevolent, but it was close."

Valkyrie started to walk off. "Well, why don't we go and help out. Maybe with our help, you can win this one."

Skulduggery caught her arm before she had gone three paces. "Valkyrie, it is important we aren't seen. By anyone. Let alone arrive in the middle of a fight and try to change the past. We should leave the past to act out as it did."

Valkyrie looked at him. She pulled her arm free and turned to face him. "And what if we were sent here to complete a certain task? Then what. We can't complete it if we hide out around here."

"You make a valid point," Skulduggey said. "But-"

"Was this before or after you died? " Valkyrie interjected.

"Before," Skulduggery answered.

"Then what if we were sent here to stop you from dying? What if we killed Serpine before? Then Meritorious and Crow would still be alive. Your wife and child could still be with you, and you could be human again. Human with skin and organs and everything." Valkyrie ammended.

Skulduggery was quiet for a long time. He watched the battle rage on behind Valkyrie.

"There would be no being ashamed of your past as Vile, because you wouldn't become him. Think about it. We could change the history of the world. And then we wouldn't have to worry about the Supreme Council, because we wouldn't have Serpine and Vile to worry about." Valkyrie spoke softly now.

"Maybe... Maybe we could go and see if there is anything we can do, but after this fight." Valkyrie could hear the trepidition in Skulduggery's voice, and behind something she had never heard in his voice.

"Skulduggery," Valkyrie asked. Skulduggery looked at her. "Are you OK?"

"I'm fine. Just fine," Skulduggery siad, sounding like he was trying to convince himself he was OK.

Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. "Well, if you're sure..."

"I am," Skulduggery said.

"Then why are we still standing around? Lets go." Valkyrie turned around and started walking again. She heard Skulduggery hesitate, then catch up to her. "Will you be there?"

"Not in the actual fight, but yes.."

"I can't wait to see you with a face."

"You see me with a face all the time."

"I meant your own face. I haven't seen you with _that_ face."

There was silence for long moment, svae for the sound of their footsteps, and the sounds of the battle grew louder as they walked closer. "Valkyrie."

"Yes, Skulduggery."

"We can't use our real names. It would look fishy if there were _two _Skulduggery Pleasants, and one was a skeleton, and then the other died and became a skeleton."

"Why can't I use my real name?"

"Because Ghastly and Ravel and the many other mages who were here and that met you now would remember you. Which would be hard to explain." Valkyrie scowled.

"Fine. Do you have a name?"

"I was thinking something along the lines of Trickery Pheasant."

Valkyrie laughed. "Really? Ok then, I will be Variety Cessation."

Skulduggery looked at her. "And you thought mine was stupid."

"It is," Valkyrie snickered. "Mine is too, but not as bad as your's." They stopped talking as they neared the fight. Skulduggery tapped his collarbones and a false face flowed over his skull. This one had dark brown eyes, much like Valkyrie's, and a dark brown hair. He reached inside his jacket and pulled out the cloaking sphere. He twisted it before they got to close to the fight, and a bubble of haze surrounded them, hiding them from the view of the mages involved the fight. They skirted the edge and walked down to the back of the fight.

"Meritorious sometimes kept to the back, revising strategies and talking tactics with the other commanders," Skulduggery explained as he led her down behind the fight. A town sat, squalid beside a dirty lake.

"Is that... Is that _Roarhaven_?" Valkyrie asked.

"It is, yes." Skulduggery led her down the squat road to an ugly, brown building. He knocked on the door twice, paused, then knocked three times. A slot on the door opened and a pair of icy blue eyes peered through.

"Yes?" A familar voice said asked.

"Mr Bliss?" Valkyrie asked. The blue eyes looked at her.

"I am, yes. I don't believe we have met."

Skulduggery stepped forward. "My name is Trickery Pheasant, and this is my daughter, Variety Cessation. We have infomation we believe you may find useful to the current state of the war." Bliss's eyes narrowed slightly, but a voice, muffled by the thick wooden door, drifted out. Bliss nodded and stepped away from the slot, then closed it and opened the door. Skulduggery walked through and Valkyrie followed. She looked at Bliss as she passed. The last she had seen, he was floating naked when Mevolent was in control. Before, he had been killed a Faceless One. Meritorious, looking younger than when she had first met him, stood there, with several mages she had met. One she didn't know, however, was a young looking, blonde mage. He looked at them curiously. "You said you have infomation. What is it?" Meritorious asked.

"You get straight down to business, don't you," Skulduggery said, his voice rougher than usual. Bliss looked at him suspiciously, but didn't say anything. Nobody said anything. "Mevolent is going to win this fight," Skulduggery said.

"How do you know this," the blonde mage asked. Valkyrie stifled a gasp and looked at Skulduggery. He nodded imperceptably. Valkyrie swallowed and looked at Skulduggery Pleasant in the flesh once more.

**And, we have met Skulduggery. And didn't I say that I would most likely write shorter A/Ns? **


	3. Skulduggery Pleasant

**I baa-aack. And so is Skulduggery. The other one. Wow, I wrote the third sentence and realised how confusing this could get. I thought of a way to tell the Skulduggery's apart. Our Skulduggery is simply Skulduggery, while the human Skulduggery is other Skulduggery.**

**3**

**Skulduggery Pleasant**

Valkyrie looked closely at the other Skulduggery. He had wavy blonde hair, with highlights that caught the sunlight. His bright blue eyes sparkled as he watched Valkyrie and Skulduggery. One of them, a man whose age was nearly impossible for Valkyrie to gauge, said, "the only way out is through."

"No it isn't. You can go back the way you came," Both Skulduggery's replied at the same time. Everyone turned to look at Skulduggery, other Skulduggery included. Valkyrie smothered a laugh. "That's were you're wrong," Skulduggery continued. "If you go through, Mevolent will destroy your forces. He has a weapon."

"What kind of weapon?" Meritorious asked.

Skulduggery leant forward and lowered his voice. "Something of the likes of which you have never seen before." Valkyrie raised an eyebrow at the dramaticness**(Is that a word?)** of what Skulduggery had just said.

"And you have?" Bliss asked.

"Once or twice," Skulduggery shrugged.

"How do we stop it?" Other Skulduggery asked.

"It's not something that can be told. But, we are willing to go and stop it for you," Skulduggery offered.

Meritorious snorted. "Why should we trust you? You knock on the door, the location of which only our topmost commanders know about, telling us we will lose this battle and that only you can stop whatever it is that defeats us. So I repeat, why should we trust you?"

Skulduggery hesitated. "I don't really have a good answer for that."

Meritorious smiled coldly. "That's what I thought." The door burst open and several Cleavers stormed in, roughly grabbing Valkyrie's arms and shackling them behind her. Valkyrie looked at Skulduggery worridly, but he didn't look upset. "You seem smart. I am sure you can figure out why it would be a mistake to trust you."

Skulduggery shrugged again. "Suit yourself." He didn't struggle as the Cleavers shackled him as well. "It could be a mistake though."

"It could also be a mistake to trust you," Other Skulduggery pointed out.

Valkyrie paced the room, looking for a way out. Skulduggery sat casually against the wall, fiddling with something in his hands. "Aren't you worried?" She asked him.

"No," Skulduggery didn't look up. He still wore his facade up.

"Why? How are we supposed to stop you from dying if we're stuck in here?" She asked in a whisper, so the mages standing guard wouldn't hear. Valkyrie knocked on a wall, hoping for a tunnel of some sort, but was disappointed.

"They'll come for us sooner or later."

"How do you know? And do you think it will sooner rather than later?" Valkyrie whined.

"I know because I know me. After they lose, they will realise that they have no other choice than to trust usto win this war. And no," a smile tugged at Skulduggery's lips. "I don't think it will be sooner rather than later. After the fight, they will discuss ways to destroy Mevolent's weapon, then discuss whether or not they can trust us, then discuss whether or not to let us helkp, then discuss the advantages and disadvantages of letting us help them, then probably get something to eat, then catch up on some much needed sleep, then they will probably try to defeat it themselves again, then discuss it all over again, _then_ let us out. So it migth be a while."

Valkyrie sagged. "But I don't like waiting. Especially for that long with nothing to do."

"I've noticed," Skulduggery was still fiddling.

"What are you doing?" Valkyrie asked.

"What does it look like I am doing?" Skulduggery replied.

"Fiddling with something."

"Then that's what I am doing." Valkyrie scowled. She yawned and looked around. Skulduggery's head tilted and he took off his jacket, folded it up and handed it to Valkyrie. She murmured her thanks and took it over to the corner as Skulduggery resumed his fiddling. Valkyrie's eyes drifted shut, and she realised just how tired she was as Skulduggery started humming. As sleep settled over her, she heard someone whispering her nmae, drawing her towards them. She tried to fight, but surrended as a feeling of utter bliss and peace washed over her.

**There. Next chapter we find out how exactly Valkyrie and Skulduggery will get home. But will it be in the way you expect. I am interested to know exactly how you think they will get home. I have started writing it, so I won't choose the best one I read. **


	4. Just a Dream?

**In this chapter, I sum up all seven books (excluding The End of the World) in one sentence. Which I must say, is quite an achievement.**

Valkyrie stood in a bright meadow. She crossed her arms. "Why does every dream have to be in a bright, sun-filled meadow?" She complained. In answer to her question, the scenery changed to a rainy city at night. "Still unoriginal." The background changed to a desert, then a rainforest, then underwater reef, then a desert-underwater reef-rainforest. Valkyrie nodded. "I like this one." A clownfish swam up, looking at her curiousily before darting away.

"I'm a glad you do." A new voice said from behind her. Valkyrie turned to see a small, bird-like, old lady with short grey hair and a hooked nose.

"Woah. You aren't going to start singing are you? Because that would be weird," Valkyrie asked. The lady grinned, revealing teeth filed to points. "Yep, this just got weird."

"Focus," the old lady snapped. "This is serious. My name is Maudlin Spire. You are Valkyrie Cain, are you not?" Maudlin didn't wait for an answer before continuing. "You intend on changing the past. I cannot allow that to you change to much more, you will tear a hole in the time-space continuem which will allow anyone to come through. They could kill anyone from the past, stopping them from existing and doing anything."

Valkyrie held up a hand. "Wait. So you mean we could stop Serpine from killing Skulduggery and his family, then later stop him from killing Meritorious and the Elders, as well as my uncle, stop Vengeous from reviving the Grotesquery, which would mean that the Teleporters wouldn't die because the Faceless Ones wouldn't waiting and Batu wouldn't be able to summon them rfom the dimension they are currently in because the Grotesquery wouldn't exist, which would mean I wouldn't have to spend ten months learning Necromancy because Skulduggery wasn't in the other dimension, then not have people after me who form the Revengers Club or whatever it was called, which would stop them from kidnapping Grouse which would mean the Desolation Engine wouldn't have been armed and the other one wouldn't have been built, which means that Marr couldn't have destroyed the Sanctuary, which means that Tessarect couldn't have killed her, and it also means that Scarab wouldn't have need the Remnant to convince Grouse to build the Engine, which would mean the Necromancers wouldn't be able to use it break Finbar's mind, which would mean that the Remnants wouldn't get out, which would mean that Tanith would still be with us, and the Necromancer's, well they might have had the Death Bringer, and that we could stop Crazy Kitana and her friends from killing all those people by stopping Argeddion before he started giving mortals magic. And it means I wouldn't have discovered magic, which means I wouldn't have hurt Fletcher, and that I wouldn't know Skulduggery, or Ghastly, or my reflection, and it means that I can't become-" Valkyrie broke off as she realised what she was about to say. She looked at Maudlin.

Maudlin, without looking up, asked, "is that was has happened I left?"

"You _left_? Left where?" Valkyrie asked.

Maudlin waved a hand.  
"Our time. Well your time now."

"But didn't you say something about tearing a hole in the time-space con- something?"

"Well, yes. But I didn't come here to change the past. I came here to observe, to record. Things become forgotten over time, so people like me travel back and record what happens as we see it. Then nothing becomes forgotton."

"I don't understand."

"People's memories fail, they forget-"

"No I got that. I don't understand how we got here."

"Don't think of time as movie, that once you skip back you can watch from there. Instead, this might just get confusing, but, each fraction of a second, smaller amounts of time than I doubt even the greatest scientist, alive or dead, would be able to comprehend, play, over and over again. That is what allows people to travel back in time. But you being here, throws everything out of balance."

"But what about you? Wouldn't you being here throw everything out of balance as well?"

Maudlin smiled. "Someone who asks a lot of questions has a sharp mind." Maudlin paused. Valkyrie smiled. "Or they don't understand anything." Valkyrie glared, but Maudlin ignored her. Valkyrie scowled as she continued. "Timekeepers, people like me, have a special something written into their DNA that allows them to pass through time-space continuems without tearing holes."

"Well, how do I get back?"

"Well, how did you get here?"

"I came through some sort of portal."

"Then that's how you get back."

"There is still something I don't understand."

"Girl, you're daft or deaf," Maudlin cackled.

Valkyrie ignored her and asked, "how can you be in my dreams?"

"The same way a Sensitive can see lines of magic that lead to a portal." Maudlin smiled scarily and a dark grey fog swirled over her, obscuring her face and leaving behind a cold feeling as the dreamscape disappeared as well. Valkyrie jerked awake, and looked around. She was surprised to see Skulduggery wasn't in the room. His jacket was gone too, and a folded bit of paper lay. Valkyrie was just about to open it, a commotion at the door stopped her. Mr Bliss stood at the door, and he beckoned for her to come with him.


	5. Exactly the Opposite

**I was excited. I had finished writing it, then realised, a) It finished too soon and b) It didn't actually answer any questions, so here is the revised, refurbished, revamped, recounted, every re- you can think of version of What If.**

"You say you know how to destroy this weapon?" Meritorious asked.

Valkyrie winced inwardly. "I don't. My... father does, but I don't."

"That is useful, isn't it? Your father knows how to destroy it, and then he disappears. Tell me, why are you here?" Meritorious asked coldly.

Valkyrie took a deep breath. "If you must know, I- _we_ are looking for a way home. We are from the future, and somehow ended up here through a portal that connects our time with your time. My fri- father is also looking to stop his wife from dying, which would stop him from dying."

"Forgive me if I don't believe you," Meritorious said icily.

Valkyrie shrugged. 'Forgiven. I would find it hard to believe if I were you."

Meritorious face hardened. "Your attitude could get you killed one day, if you don't watch it."

"Well, yeah," Valkyrie replied. "It hasn't yet, so..."

"You don't know when to stop, do you?" Meritorious' voice went deadly quiet. Valkyrie raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. "Where is your father?"

"I don't know." Valkryie said.

"Again, I find it hard to believe you."

Valkyrie smiled bitterly. "Then I guess we will have to agree to disagree."

"Do you know where we can find your father?"

"No."

"Tell me where you father is."

"If you want."

"OK then. Where is he?"

"I don't know."

Meritorious pinched the bridge of nose with his eyes closed. Valkryie could hear him muttering. "What do you suggest we do then?"

"Let me go and find him," Valkyrie suggsted.

"Out of the question.''

"It wasn't a question."

Meritorious thought for a long time. "If I allow you to find your father, someone I can trust has to go with you."

"A compromise."

"It is. Hopefully then, we both will get we want."

"It sounds reasonable. Who will I be going with?"

"You may not have met him, but I would like to introduce Skulduggery Pleasant."

Valkyrie turned to see the other Skulduggery. "Nope, we haven't met. But I am sure we will be good good friends."

The other Skulduggery smiled at her. "I look forward to getting to know you, miss."

_"_Please, call me Val- Variety."

"So it's a deal then. You and Mr Pleasant here will go and find your father, and you come back and help us."

"A compromise."

"Is it a deal?"

"Compromise has the word promise in it. I will uphold my end if you uphold yours."

"What kind of car do you have?" Valkyrie asked.

"A what?" The othee Skulduggery asked good naturedly.

"Never mind. How are we going to get where we need to go?"

"The usual way." They rounded a corner and Valkyrie saw to horses.

"Ah."

"Is something wrong? Would you rather walk?" Skulduggery asked. Valkyrie couldn't quiet believe that this nice, caring person had become the Skulduggery she knew.

"No, horses are fine. Can we go?" Valkyrie asked.

"There are some things I need to do first." The other Skulduggery hesitated.

"Don't worry, I won't go anywhere. I'll wait here." Valkyrie slid down the wall and sat on the ground. The other Skulduggery nodded and walked off. Valkryie opened the bit of paper Skulduggery had left her.

_Valkryie_

_Don't do anything stupid, or make any promises. Don't worry about me, I'll be back soon. Don't come looking for me either. If there is an emergancy, tell Ghastly, the river runs clear. He'll know what it means, but only use if you need to. _

_-Skulduggery._

Valkyrie grinned. _Bit late Skulduggery._

**(' ' )**

**( O )**

**Look, it's a penguin. **

**Well, it was a penguin.**


End file.
